Friday, July 22, 2011

This is a quick explanation of why I'm not ok with people opposing gay marriage. I know it's not a relevant political topic in the (m)ass media right now, but I need something to distract me from the Teapublican asshats and their delusional thinking anyway. So, here goes:

I have yet to hear a good POLITICAL argument against gay marriage. Nada. Zip. Zilcho. If you've got one, I would love to hear it. Slippery slope to polygamy? Nope. Honestly, polygamy is a completely different issue anyway.

So why am I anti-anti-marriage equality? Because people use "morality" as a cover for not giving a shit about anyone else. They use "God's plan" as an excuse to do things that I don't believe any loving and compassionate God would ever condone. Here's the deal, I can rant 'til I'm blue in the face about how gays are no different from anyone else and how their love is real, but the fact is, people who don't want to believe that aren't going to hear it anyway. So I'm gonna play this card right here: think about the children.

Thousands of children are living without families. They are pulled from negligent and/or abusive homes. They are bounced around foster care like volley balls and have little hope of finding solid relationships in their lives. (and this is not a dramatization, I work with several of these kids)
Then a pair of loving parents, gay or straight, opens their home and their hearts to a creature of innocence and tragedy that is not of their own flesh and blood. For what is the first time for many of these children, they are loved. They have a chance to feel safe.

And it is under the guise of "morality" that the "authorities" tell many of these children their family is illegitimate, is less than those with heterosexual parents. Rather than loving homes, these "authorities" would have these children continue to bounce around foster care for years to come, not knowing families and parents of their own.

Let me tell you something, my mother was adopted by her father and has never said anything less of him than "a better father has not existed." He is her dad, biology be damned. I have friends who were adopted and they couldn't care less about blood because their parents are the people who loved them. That is what this is about: love. I'm not arguing about the romantic love of same-sex relationships, I am talking about the familial love and stability that EVERY child is entitled to.

Here is something else for you to think about, opponents. I work in pediatric psychiatry. Many of these kids have been systematically abused, neglected, assaulted and worse. We see a number of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder, a large percentage of which have been adopted after years of systematic abuse that most of us can't imagine.

Many of them are violent, and dangerous to themselves. Their self-esteem is dismal and they often meet us after a stay in the inpatient unit for attempted suicide. Some of them self-harm almost compulsively. Surveys, questionairres and interviews indicate they want to change everything about themselves and their lives. Except one thing. When asked what they would change about their family: Nothing.

"What's a positive in your life for today (patient)?" "I love my mom"

It is their one patch of stability. A place to belong. Even though they are haunted by the past, they know who to turn to. Don't you dare tell them that place is immoral.