Sunday, November 21, 2010
Hello (hopefully) smiling faces! I'm a newby to Outer Blogness and can now be found at the Main Street Plaza! As a taste for what I normally shoot for when I'm not over stressed and writing more (*boring*) personal stuff, here's my latest (and first) contribution to the USU-SHAFT site. If I ever survive this semester, I've got plans for more :)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
So, I just laid out the final version of my semester to-do list and realized that, once again, I've screwed myself into cramming 16 weeks into 2 weeks. Good thing I do my best work under pressure. Still, I wanted to pop over and say hello to the blogosphere since it's given me so much in terms of procrastination.
I've been checking out some great blogs, notably Molly Muses and Pure Mormonism. These are two very thoughtful and intelligent bloggers with very different styles and perspectives.
Anywho, I'm trying to blog a little to calm my nerves so I can focus on my mountain of homework (and for a graduate student, that means something very different than for an undergrad).
I've been thinking a lot lately about resigning from the church and having my name officially removed from their records. It's an issue on which I am very torn and looking for opinions and advice (come on you three followers, I know if I believe hard enough you'll hear me). In my typical fashion, I've broken it into a list (generously speaking) of pros and cons
1. My family will be devastated.
The church is everything to them and, despite our differences and arguments, they ARE my family. I don't want to hurt them.
2. I'm a doubting Thomas, no matter where I go.
I'm an agnostic with the road running solidly both ways. Yes, I lean toward atheism and 99% of the time, I'm sure the church isn't true. I'm angry at its sexism, racism and homophobia and I know logically that the Book of Mormon was never very solid for me. Still, there is that tiny little part of me that felt those things and believed them, that little part that is terrified of the eternal retribution I've supposedly earned for myself. Removing my name changes me in that sense, so I was never baptised, etc. I'm worried that I'll be empty (which is silly and holds to the elitism so often seen amongst members of the church. I was well brainwashed indeed).
3. It's like voting.
Does my one little gesture really make any tiff of difference to LDS, Inc.?
1. It's like voting.
One might not make a difference, but I still feel obligated to do my tiny part in affecting the numbers.
2. Freedom of Association
I don't want my name associated with an organization that so diligently impinges on the rights and free will of others.
3. The Church TM is unethical in plenty more ways than one.
The ethics of my profession prescribe that I not adhere to the practices of unethical organizations. The Church Inc.'s advocation of "Reparative" therapies for LGBT individuals makes them unethical in the eyes of my profession. I'd rather choose the APA any day.
4. I want to send a message
However small, I want the people who see my letter (even if there is only one who reads it) to know that I didn't leave because I was lazy or wanting to sin. I left because what they do is wrong, what they teach is wrong and because they are abandoning and abusing some of their most diligent members. I left because they have created a culture that is both exclusive and harmful in society.
So, tell me what you think. Most of my friends who have left (a small number in itself) report that they don't really feel any different. Is it worth it to send an angry letter to an office building full of elitist white men in expensive, tithing-purchased suits that will never give it a second glance? I really don't know.